I suppose I didn't really explain very much *why* the book "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter" meant a lot to me in my last "name" post. I think it was so freeing to think that women could be equal to man. I know it seems like an archaic realization, but I think most people don't even realize how our society puts women down still.
As a high schooler who was starting a prayer group, I was told by a church authority figure that if a boy stepped forward and wanted to lead the group, I should step down. (Yes it was in an answer to a question that I asked, but I can't tell you how my heart dropped . . . the thought process all led up to "a girl isn't good enough.") As a fledgling reporter multiple people told me that I was too timid, too girly, my voice was too high, etc. One person even suggested I take voice lessons to lower my voice. ("President Bush -- the first one -- did and it gained him a lot of respect," they said.) I grew to despise all things that made me more feminine, dresses, skirts, even the color pink.
I'm not saying I had a hard life, because I didn't. And as far as I know I haven't been discriminated against because I am female. These are just examples of small critiques that people made over the course of a decade which left me feeling secondary.
Many of my friends won't agree, but I also don't really believe that a woman should have to submit to her husband. I once heard a Sunday school teacher explain that a marriage is like a partnership and there will be times where the two just absolutely can't agree on something so *someone* has to make the decision, so in her opinion it should be the man by default. But honestly, how many times is there an issue so huge that an agreement couldn't be reached? Isn't that the essence of compromise? I'm probably too idealistic since I've never been married, but shouldn't each partner respect each other enough to reasonably listen to the other's opinion?
I don't know... I'll probably laugh at myself after I'm married someday, but to me it seems reasonable that there aren't many cases when compromise couldn't be reached. We shall see.
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Hi Paige,
I have enjoyed your videos, this is the first time I've looked at your blog. I admire you for asking the questions you ask rather than just accepting what people try to teach you. The Truth is written in each of us, it becomes clear as we let go of our opinions. I am very interested in the subject of religion and male/female dynamics. I'll say right off that I do not pretend to be an expert on relationships. But I've been married a long time and therefore have some experience.I am still learning. Like you, I was raised to believe that a woman must submit to her husband,and an unmarried woman must also submit to male authority, just as a man must submit to God. The way it was put to me it made sense, at the time and I never questioned it. My mother lived that way. Let me say right here that I am Jewish. Not to get into a long story, I'll just say that I have learned that male and female are equal and both are equally necessary. The Sacred Feminine was once a strong part of the Jewish religion, but it has been written out of the texts and lost over the centuries. God is both masculine and feminine, nothing in creation would exist without the Sacred Feminine. Referring to God as She is just as valid as referring to God as He.
In marriage,I try not to see things in terms of what my husband "should" do. I try to see my journey in terms of myself only. I follow my own spirit, my own Guidance. I try to remember that my husband is on his own journey - though he doesn't realize it yet.
You're looking in all the right directions,keep it up!
Laurie
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